leftyjenkins.tumblr.com

seriouslythoughman:

My wife and I (mostly her) have this super conservative couple as friends. The man is the head of the house and the wife is his servant kind of shit. We recently learned that they don’t want their children calling their genitals by their typical names. Apparently they are too vulgar.

We will start with their daughter since she is the oldest. They want her to call her vagina her “taco.” Her motherfucking taco! Well, they would never say motherfucking. How is taco less vulgar than vagina? I hear this and think ” holy shit, you are going to grow up to be an uneducated, cheap hooker.”

Now to their son. They want him to refer to his penis as his taliwacker. I don’t even know if I spelled that right but you get the point. That makes it sound like he plays with it constantly for some reason. Don’t know why but it does. I mean, you couldn’t pick anything else? I hate the term ding dong but it is a hell of a lot better than taliwacker. Shit, now my iPad knows that I am typing taliwacker after I enter the w. I’m screwed now.

This is yet another reason why I don’t understand the conservative portion of this country.